


I Never Met a Lady Quite As Pretty As Historia Reiss

by saeien



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Eventual Sex, F/F, Fingering, First Time, Highschool AU, Homophobic Slurs, Loss of Virginity, Physical Abuse, Swearing, adding characters and tags as needed, sorry but it’s realistic to my own experience teens have potty mouths
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:54:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24884911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saeien/pseuds/saeien
Summary: Welcome to Mount Maria Highschool, where Ymir just entered her last year of school. Typical day besides finding the most popular, most beautiful cheerleader- Historia Reiss- in a dark, cruddy alley with some sleezbag. Thus they begin their journey at refurbishing their forgotten friendship into... something new?Slow build up probably. Will add tags per chapter for incoming characters and possible triggers
Relationships: Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss & Ymir, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir
Comments: 10
Kudos: 77





	1. Melody Dean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I never met a lady  
> Quite as pretty as Melody Dean  
> And when I laid my head  
> Down on her heart  
> It beated out your name” -Amanda Palmer

Blue eyes, blonde hair and the sweetest personality of anyone in her crowd, there was no doubt that Historia was the most popular girl in school. No, she wasn't the center of much gossip, other than who she was making lucky at the time- which was Reiner. Captain of the football team, of course. She wasn't one to get around much, but she did have trouble saying no. Appearances were very important within her high brow family, so she forced herself to be agreeable, which wasn't a bad thing considering how many friends that made her: Mikasa, from the swim team; Sasha and Connie, the thespians; Jean and Marco from track and field; even Eren who didn't do much of anything.

Only one person who she wouldn't refer to as a friend- Ymir Fritz. Mostly because no one would call her a friend... The two were friends as kids, but once social circles began to define their boundaries, Ymir withdrew. 

By the time senior year came around she was just fine escorting only herself to her classes, keeping her own company during lunch breaks. The worst thing was the rumors. Obviously she was a lesbian, that was the first one to go around back in grade school before it even mattered. 

"Everyone found out she was a lesbian and then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack." 

That was what everyone said. Ymir shook her head. 'It didn't matter. One class left after this one,' she thought to herself. Sat in the last row back by the other kids who didn't really care either, she let her thoughts drift. Senior year caused nostalgia for everyone, even those without much social life. She never had much of a social life, only one best friend as a kid. There's no way she could reconnect with her...

Ringing entered her ears and she realized it was time to move to the next class. She got up and started moving down the rows of desks, when someone came out from the side and shoved her from their path, laughing. 

"Don't touch her, dude! You'll catch something," their friend laughed as they exited together. 

Ymir jumped up, about to tell them they would catch her fists, but they were already gone. So she made her way into the much more crowded hallways. Most people would mind their own business unless she was directly in their way, but some just wanted to put on a show for their friends- or girlfriend... 

As she neared their group, one set of eyes rose to meet hers directly. Icy blue met warm brown, just for a second before Ymir dropped her head back down and attempted to continue past them, but it wouldn't be easy today. 

"Hey, ya dyke," said a deep thundering voice, no other than Reiner Braun. Ever since he became the team captain his ego had boosted clear out of this world. "I'm talking to you!" He growled and swung an arm out, cornering Ymir against a locker, for all his friends to watch. 

Her eyes darted around and met Krista's again. "Hey, could we do this hot stuff later, your girlfriend is watching," she tried to play it off as a joke, something smart to make them laugh and get out of this situation as soon as possible. "Plus if you hadn't heard, I'm pretty gay," she smirked. 

It didn't help at all, Reiner only puffed up more, the locker started to dent from the force of his fist. "Yeah, I noticed you checking out my girlfriend. Wanna say something about that?" His teeth audibly ground against each other. 

"Yeah, actually." She leaned passed Reiner's built shoulders to catch Krista's eye again. "Krista, you look hot today, call me," she hollered, sarcastically, and then looked back at Reiner, who was now bright red. "And you... You look like a tomato." 

Suddenly his fist flew, just barely missing her face. Ymir avoided it by launching herself forward and slamming her forehead up against his nose. Blood trickled out, and Reiner's eyes grew wide, and even more angry. He brought his fist down and this time struck her right in the ear, knocking her onto the group. Right as he was about to lay another one on her, she heard a teacher stomping on over. Forceful but small, short steps. It had to be Mr. Ackerman. 

"What the hell is going on here?!" He stormed, whipping his head to look between Reiner's obviously broken nose and blood stained shirt, and Ymir flat on her ass and clutching the side of her head. "Principal's office! NOW!" 

The two walked sheepishly in front of the small but intimidating teacher toward principal Mr. Smith's office. The taller boy gave Ymir dirty glares the whole way there, but she didn't care. 'I bet I looked so cool!' she smiled to herself. 

Mr. Ackerman swung open the door in the most violent manner necessary, catching Mr. Smith off guard. "What in the world...?" He took in the sight of his disheveled students, mouth open and waiting for an explanation. 

"Speak, children!" The short man growled. 

"She broke my nose!" Reiner pointed. 

"After he tried to punch me!" Ymir yelled back, "And then he did punch my ear! That would get you disqualified in a professional slapping match!" Her ear was already swollen and would definitely become a nasty bruise later. 

Mr. Smith examined both of the injuries and groaned. "Well Reiner will definitely need his parents called, to go get your nose fixed," he rolled his eyes, obviously growing tired if this specific grade and their shenanigans this year. "And Ymir's parents should also be called, since it was a fight. That is definitely against conduct here. I assume one of you would like to stay on the football team, isn't that right?" His eyes narrowed. 

"Nah, I'm fine without the team!" Ymir said, trying to be funny. Usually it just seemed she talked too much. 

Everyone in the room rolled their eyes at her and Reiner also elbowed her in the ribs. 

"Children! Knock that shit off!" Mr. Ackerman yelled, being shushed by Mr. Smith who was trying to make phone calls to tend to this mess he called his students. 

"Alright. Reiner, your mother is on the way," he started, "and Ymir, you are welcome to return to class. But this will not happen again. You two, talk it out or avoid each other. It isn't that difficult." 

Both kids got up and turned to leave. "Oh, and Reiner. You're suspended from football until further notice." 

Ymir chuckled and left Reiner to complain about fairness to the principal, and Mr. Ackerman walked with her toward his class which he was a few minutes late to, after dealing with that commotion. "Ms. Ymir make sure you get to class as well," he said sternly, as he turned into his room and shut the door. 

Her last class today was health, and the teacher was a pretty, red headed woman named Petra. They weren't supposed to call teachers by their first names, but Petra didn't mind. When Ymir opened the door and joined her class, all the states turned to her. Some of the kids would have already known why she was late. Small town schools spread gossip dangerously fast. 

Historia was also in this class, so at least one person there knew why she was late. Ymir dropped down into an empty seat and tried to make sense of what they were doing. She saw a pile of bananas on the front desk.... 

"Does everyone have to learn how to do this?" One girl raised her hand. 

"Yes," Petra smiled, "anyone who is having sex with someone with a penis should learn how to put a condom on." Petra began to pass out the bananas and the cute small squares of plastic to each student. 

Ymir rolled her eyes. 'OH, this...' 

Another student raised her hand. "What if there are no penises involved?" 

Laughter erupted from the room because someone other than the teacher said the word 'penis.' Ymir rolled her eyes, as did the girl who asked the question initially.

"That is a great question Mikasa. There are products that some lesbian couples use, and I would be happy to answer your questions about that in a minute, but for now-" Petra's eyes settled on Ymir who had eaten half of her banana already. "Oh! Ymir stop that, I only got the perfect number if bananas from the cafeteria!" 

"That's fine, I'm one of those people whose not gonna need to know this stuff." Ymir continued to eat her banana. 

"Yeah! No dude would touch her!" One guy pointed and laughed. 

"And for you, Jean, a ten page essay on when condoms were first invented and the evolution of their production- materials, etc. Find yourself to the library right now," Petra spoke very softly, but everyone did listen to her. No one wanted to get on the sweetest woman's bad side. No one knew what her bad side was like, she loved everyone. 

Ymir chuckled, and watched the rest of the class attempt their banana dressings.

School was soon over and everyone shuffled the halls for their friends and belongings. Ymir packed up what she would need for the weekend and headed out to her after school job. No one would believe it, but she worked at a daycare program. Lots of Tots was the name of the business, run out of a woman’s house- Hange, a silly woman who would let the kids paint on the walls of the playroom. She was the wacky, fun aunt who any child would dream of, and Ymir loved working for her. A few others worked there, including Marco from her grade. He was still friends with all the jocks, including Reiner, but here, he was nice to Ymir. 

"Hi Miss Ymir!" One child chirped. A few others looked over and their eyes lit up, rushing to greet their favourite freckled caregiver. 

"Hey everyone!" She smiled brightly, "Bridget, I love your braids today!" 

A tiny girl with long blonde hair beamed, "My momma did them!" 

"That was nice of her. Did you say thank you?" 

The girl thought for a moment. "I will when I see her!"

"Okay," Ymir laughed. "I'll try to remind you." She loved working with these kids. She could be herself and not suffer interrogations. 

Snack time was among them, and Marco announced that today it would be, "Jelly sandwiches! Tell Miss Hange what you would like, we have lots of options!" A table was made up of plastic baggies containing halves of sandwiches. She made too many, but she always like the kids to have choices. Divided into labelled piles, some sandwiches had peanut butter, some almond butter for those allergic, all with jelly- grape, strawberry, raspberry, or peach. Snacks carried, but there was always enough that she offered some to Marco and Ymir to take home.

Ymir was happy for this, as the staff member who had been there longest, she was usually the one to wait until the last child left. Along with Hange, of course, but it was her house and that gave her the chance to do some office work, like schedules and pay checks. 

Not long after seven, the last child was picked up. Ymir stayed to help clean up, and chat for a while. Hange was just a good person to talk to, she wasn't some dicky teen. She understood. 

By eight o'clock Ymir left and was on her way home. It was about a half hour walk, but she also wanted to get some snacks at the convenience store. Weird people hung out around there, but no one would mess with Ymir. Around there, you don't mess with someone you see often. There wasn't much courtesy in the harder parts of town, so take what you can get. 

She minded herself, spent a few minutes picking out her snacks, and continued home. The sky was getting darker. People would start acting up soon. Hollering echoed from around a back alley. Ymir peeked to see what was happening, with no initial intention to stop it. You don't break up fights around here either. 

"Stop that! You don't know who my father is!" The girl cried, and Ymir's heart dropped. She knew that voice. 

"Hey! We having some trouble over here?" Ymir echoed, the snug alley amplified her voice to sound deep, and her shadow extended in front of her already tall frame. 

As the man turned to see who was bothering him, she was sure it was Historia pushed up against the wall. "Who's asking?" The man backed off of the blonde, but was now stomping toward Ymir, clearing aggravated. 

She was getting worried she would have to fight this guy, and he wasn't some dumb highschooler. This was a real bad dude who was probably used to street fights. Historia began to run toward her, and she was confused, until she heard the stun gun make it's initial spark as Historia pushed it against the back of the man's neck, and zapped him for a few seconds before he collapsed. 

"Run!" She yelled and grabbed Ymir's hand, spinning her in a 180 down the street. They ran several blocks panting, Ymir's bag of snacks smacking haphazardly from the movement. 

Finally it was far enough to stop and catch their breath. "Did you taze that guy?!" Ymir asked between gasps. 

"Yeah. Well no, it's not as strong as a tazer, but you can buy one without a license," Historia replied, abked to catch her breath faster. 

"What the hell?" Ymir was bent over, heart still pounding. "How are you able to breathe already?!" She yelled.

"I'm a cheerleader. And outside of that I work out," she explained. 

Ymir rolled her eyes, not sure when her childhood friend became like this; not sure if she ever wasn't like this... "Why were you in this part of town? Don't you still live in that rich development?" 

Historia's head bowed. "Yeah I do," she paused. "I got in a fight with Reiner. We were driving for some milkshakes, and I said something, and he dropped me off."

Ymir shook her head. Just then she notice how dirty Historia's shoes were. She never wore shoes long enough for them to get dirty, always a brand new pair. "What did you say, for him to kick you out of his car?" 

"I told him he was being a dick to you earlier," she said plainly, looking away. "And thank you for saying I looked good today." 

Ymir groaned, and burried her face in her hands to hide a small blush. "I was being sarcastic!" Maybe. "I was just trying to get under his skin!" Definitely. 

Historia's expression dropped. "Oh. Well he was still being a jerk, so I'm sorry," she said, composing herself like she hadn't faltered a second ago. 

Turning to leave, she got a few steps before hearing Historia call out, "Why aren't we friends anymore?"

She looked back. "You know why we're not friends anymore," her eyes narrowed. "Why would you want to be friends with a perv who tries to kiss her best friend?" Continuing her way, she yelled back on last thing: "I heard the best friend liked it!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if the ending of the chapter was confusing, how she said it in third person. She kissed Historia, Historia was the one who spread the lesbian rumor. Was it an accident? Who knows
> 
> Also every chapter is titled after an Amanda Palmer song because she is my writing music and also my idol


	2. Runs in the Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Join Krista for a day of recollection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I mean, well, I'm well, well I mean I'm in hell,  
> well I still have my health at least that's what they tell me.  
> If wellness is this, what in hells name is sickness?  
> But business is business, and business runs in the family“ -AP

Nightmares plagued her all night. Dark eyes and shark teeth, coming forward to devour her. Laughing, lots of different voices. She was running, away from them and toward Ymir but she couldn’t keep up. That familiar sensation of falling in a dream, and waking up with a jolt, Historia squinted open and took in the warm, muggy daylight. 

It was almost September, but a real wet heat right now. Rain was probably on the way. Rising from the silky white sheets, Historia stretched and combed her hair into a low ponytail. She switched into a sports bra and athletic shorts, heading out for her morning jog. It was her routine, and helped to clear her thoughts. 

Slender legs carried her swiftly down the block. Living in a development with lots of cul de sacs and minimal traffic was perfect, she could keep running circles and still be close to home. Every identical house having at least half an acre of land, it was still a good distance for a run. She recalled the encounter of last night, thinking it must be the reason for her dream. Ymir really hated her now... but it was true, Historia was the origin of that rumor, back when they were thirteen. 

Guilt washed over her as she dig deep into that memory, they had a sleepover, just the two of them. Always just the two of them. 

Young Ymir, cheeks bright red, saying she might like girls. “Like... they’re pretty. Like I want to... touch their hair, or maybe kiss them.” 

Historia wasn’t bothered at all. “Do you want to try with me?” 

Ymir did, and they shared a tiny peck. Both girls blushed, and shrugged, and decided to change topics. The sleepover continued as a normal preteen slumber party would. 

The next day, Historia made the mistake of asking advice from a third party. She didn’t know how Ymir felt about it- she didn’t want to ask- but Historia didn’t hate it. In fact she liked it, whether because it was new, or because it was a girl... or because it was her best friend, Ymir. 

But that other girl didn’t listen, only to the first part, and told Historia that she would “make sure everybody knows! That’s gross, I’m so sorry you went through that. She’ll never bother you again!” 

So she never corrected her, because it was “gross.” No one had ever told her it was gross before, Ymir didn’t seem to think it was gross. But it was five years too late now.

By now she was dripping sweat, more than ready for a shower and looped back to home. A nice house, that looked like an upgraded version of the other cookie cutter houses. The same tan color, some white trim for accent, but theirs was on the largest lot, just over a full acre of land. It already felt lonely enough. Historia went in, letting her tennis shoes squeak on the shiny tile, always clean thanks to the housekeeper. It was but her and Historia. Her parents were rarely home, due to work, social functions, their affairs- romantic affairs were open knowledge within the family, but no one on the outside would guess. They were the perfect family. That’s why they had that house, so no one would know they left Historia alone again. Again and again and again. It was nice when she had Ymir, she always knew how to make the house feel full of fun, and sound, and emotion. No neighbor would dare file a noise complaint against the Reiss family. 

Up the stairs she went, to her on suite bathroom. She showered, dressed in a small sundress, and went down to prepare some breakfast. Bessie, the middle aged housekeeper, was in the kitchen wiping down counters, not that they needed to be wiped down daily, no one touched anything in this house of glass, no one entered. 

“Good morning, Ms. Bessie. How are you enjoying the day?” Historia said, trying to sound warm but it was all just courtesy- they had the same conversation every morning. 

“Morning, Miss Reiss,” She spoke with formality as well, “it’s a good morning, the sun is shining, the birds are still chirping... Can I make you some tea?” 

“No thank you. I’m going to have some granola and yogurt,” the teen replied, ready to end the conversation. Bessie was great, and had been working for the family- family meaning Historia- for a few years, but Historia knew she care for conversation.

“Well, if you have anything you’d like me to pick up from the store, I’ll be going later while it’s still nice out. Might rain a little later,” she’s said with a tight smile, and continued her duties. 

“Thank you,” Historia smiled back, wondering what would she do today? Might as well knock homework out of the way. After finished her breakfast bowl, she ascended the stairs back to her suite and cranked out the answers like nothing. On first impressions, people didn’t believe that the blonde was so smart, but she was, and not just book smart. Always calculating, and manipulating people’s perceptions of her. 

It was only early afternoon when she had finished the assignments for each class. Soon she was reminded again of the sound of silence, which always brought ghosts of memories... A walk around town sounded better than that. Historia packed her purse, slid on her flats, and left the house. Stohess Brooke was a newly build neighborhood on the East edge of town. The city center was about a 40 minute walk, maybe two hours to walk the distance of the entire town. Still hung up on Ymir, her feet naturally guided her to the last apartment building she had know her to live in. Ymir’s family was poorer than most in the area, they moved often, never staying in an apartment or renting a small house for more than a few years. Chances were that she lived somewhere totally different now. Fate would have it the opposite however.

While Historia was busy staring up at the old apartment, a yell came from the building on the opposite street. “Historia?” She turned around and Ymir was leaning off a rusty fire escape, a few floors up. 

Dashing across the street, she neared the tall brunette. “Hey, you moved!”

“Not far enough I guess. Did you miss me?” Ymir asked, always sarcastic.

Historia either missed it, or didn’t care, and simply replied, “Yeah, I do.” 

Shocked by the honesty, Ymir let her brows furrow, and descended the creaking ladder. “What did you say?” She had to ask once she got closer, and jumped the last few feet down onto the pavement. 

“I miss you,” Historia repeated deadpan. 

“You’re fucking with me,” she narrowed her dark eyes.

“No, I’m not. And what you said last night, you were right.” 

Confusion flooded Ymir. “Which part?” 

“All of it. It was my fault,” her confident voice faultered. As if the gods felt her, rain started to sprinkle the sidewalk. For some reason she thought it would wait until later today. “And I did like kissing you, but that wasn’t the rumor they wanted to spread around.”

Ymir stared. Minutes ago she was minding her own business, spending her lazy Saturday smoking a J, and now her first love was here in front of her. It had to be a prank. If her best friend would assist in soeading a rumor during such a hard time in her life, why wouldn’t she mess with her now as well? “You’re still fucking with me.”

The rain grew harder, and clouds moved in. “I’m sorry. I’m sure you don’t still feel that way, and I have a boyfriend-“ 

“Yeah he sucks.” 

“I know,” the blonde head lowered, now almost soaked from the rain. The fire escape provided Ymir enough cover that she wasn’t quite as wet. “I just miss having you as a friend. I’ll leave you be,” she mumbled and started East back toward her lonely home. 

“Wait,” Ymir called, leaving the safety of the overhang into the rain to catch Historias hand. “It’s raining, come inside until it’s over.” 

A sheepish smile found Historia’s lips, and she followed Ymir into the building, up to the third flood, into a dimly lit apartment. 

“It’s about the same size and layout as the ones across the street, same landlord,” Ymir said, considering giving her a tour, but there wasn’t much to it, and it surely wasn’t as flashy as the near mansion that her guest owned. “Oh, do you want to change? Your dress is...” Wet. The pale yellow sun dress clung to Historia’s thin frame, making her small breasts and cold peeks more noticeable than her normal clothing. 

“Yes, please...” Historia looked down at herself, blushing when she realized that her dress did not make a good combination with rain. 

Ymir motioned for her to follow down the short hall, which separated into two similar sized rooms. The blinds were all shut, adding to the dark mystery of the life Historia had missed out on for years. “Here’s a shirt, and shorts. They might be long,” she said, handing a pile of clothing over, and shutting Historia into the room alone. 

Moments later, as appeared again looking so much smaller, the black band shirt almost to her knees. “I wear men sizes now, since I’m so flat and straight. Not straight,” Ymir tumbled over her words, uncomfortable with this sudden visitor, and not quite sure what to say. 

Historia glanced down at the shirt. “Do you go to concerts a lot?” 

“Not often, but sometimes. Sometimes I meet up with Eren for them. 

“I didn’t know you had any...” she trailed off, immediately regretting the way that sentence started. 

“Any friends?”Ymir almost thundered, offended by the question. “He’s not a real friend, but we talk. He’s nicer than most people,” she said pointedly, meeting icy eyes. 

Historia avoided the jab, and in an effort to keep from the impending silence that always found her, she asked, “What else do you do?” 

“Nothing.”

Not the answer that she expected. "I can leave," she offered, uncomfortable by the situation. 

"Sorry, this is just weird for me. I've hated you for a while," Ymir admitted bluntly. "And I'm still confused by everything you've said. Did you not hate kissing me because it was me, or because I'm a girl?" 

"That was years ago, and it was just a kid's kiss. The only way to know is to try again," Historia nearly whispered, mostly averting her eyes from Ymir's reaction. 

Ymir gawked for a second before closing the space between them. More gentle than any touch she'd experienced before, Ymir cupped her fair skin, and leaned down to meet her lips tenderly. She pulled away slowly until her eyes met Historia's. "Wait, can I try again?" A blush covered her darker, freckled face. 

"Okay." 

Again, Ymir's body closed in on her. This time she wrapped one arm delicately around the Historia's waist, and the other held the back of her head, fingers laced through her golden locks. Lips met again, but this time slightly open. Historia let her tongue tease Ymir's lips, which welcomed her. Despite being so slow, and gentle, the kiss had set Ymir on fire. 

Historia felt her knees go weak. "It's either you, or girls, but I did enjoy it again," she admitted, hiding her face. 

Shocked, and pleased, Ymir could only stare, mostly at the glossy, reddened lips that she helped to wet. 

"Will you please not tell anyone though?" She felt her heart drop as soon as Historia asked. 

"Seriously?" 

"Yes. I don't really like Reiner, but it's how it is." 

"So you sleep with people you don't even like, but avoid the one person you do? Unless you are still messing with me," Ymir accused. How could she not assume that? 

"I haven’t slept with any of them! And image is important. Even if I were to break up with him..." 

"I get it," Ymir cut her off. "It's fine this way. I think it stopped raining, also.

"Sorry for stopping over suddenly. Thanks for letting me in to talk," she said, still bashful. 

"It's no problem. You can get those clothes back to me later, your dress is probably still wet," Ymir added while walking her out. 

They said goodbyes, and Historia headed for home, still feeling warmth on her lips. Unlike any kiss before, it worried her. You can only manipulate others for so long before it reflects on oneself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not good at ending chapters ~~~


	3. Want It Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ymir gets her clothes back, and Historia gets her number. Cute stuff still nothing racy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Just like the song, we're addicted to the L word.” AP

The rest of her weekend was typical. Sleep, eat, and as much homework as she could stomach. No one ever expected much from her, so she never did more than she could get away with. Sunday night she was mixed with emotions. She was going back to school, but she would see Historia again- and seeing her would confirm if all of that really happened. The dress was still there, though she mostly forgot until her dad got home from a double shift, exhausted and annoyed. 

It felt soft in her hands as she tucked it into her backpack. Historia Reiss undressed in her bedroom, and wore her clothes. Ymir couldn’t help but imagine her smooth, pale skin against the fabric. 

She was sure she was a lesbian, but she still hadn’t had much experience. That one kiss with Historia years back, some random girls from the concerts who would let her dance with them, sometimes tipsy enough to make out with her.

Kissing Historia yesterday was different. Just thinking about it brought back that warm sensation. Laying in bed she let her mind drift farther than they got in reality. She imagined the small hands pulling on her T-shirt, forcing her to kiss deeper; her own hands slipping under the oversized shirt and squeezing Historia’s breasts... 

Ymir groaned. That would never actually happen. Fantasies would have to make due. Which it did, until she drifted to sleep. 

By morning she had completely forgotten about the dress she would have to return. Ate breakfast and headed on to school, only about twenty minute walk, fifteen if she wanted to make it on time. She never did. 

The first class of the day was trigonometry, taught by the teacher who had caught her and Reiner's fight on Friday. "Finally, trouble has arrived," he quipped at her without breaking his attention from the notes he applied to the white board. 

"Thanks for waiting, everybody," Ymir smiled and did a pageant wave as she reached the back of the class to an empty desk. 

No one gave her much notice other than a jock, Jean Kirschtein, announcing, "We didn't," and giving Marco a high-five. 

Class resumed as usual and was soon over. Ymir sauntered through the hallway crowd minding her own business, until she heard a voice calling from behind her. 

"Ymir!" Historia shouted and paced toward her, leaving Reiner in confusion. "I have your clothes," she stated boldly, in front of all of her friends. 

The lanky brunette stood baffled, too stunned to reciprocate that she also had the flimsy sundress to return. Swinging her backpack off, Historia rummaged through and revealed the boyish outfit. "Here," she said and handed it over, "I've got to rush to Physics, but I'll see you a little later?" Historia phrased it as a question, so Ymir nodded in agreement. 

She watched the cute blonde scurry back toward her giant asshole of a boyfriend, who was not interrogating her on her newly rekindled relationship with Ymir. 

"You're sure rising through the ranks, huh?" Eren joked after coming up behind her. 

Ymir smirked "Yeah right. You know I'm already the coolest kid in school," she jested right back. 

Still, he stood with one eyebrow raised. "Why'd she have your clothes? Slumber party?" He playfully punched Ymir's shoulder. 

"Na, just a quick visit," she winked, full well knowing what suspicions that would signal, and continued on through her schedule- study hall next. 

In the library she joined the others who also had a free period. Ymir had no intentions of getting ahead of her school work, pulling out her notebook at an empty table.

Midway through a sketch of her favorite assassin video game character, a folded triangle of paper landed on the table before her. She unfolded it. Sloppily written in pencil, it asked, "what were u doing with Historia?" 

Ymir looked around, eyes resting upon a fuming Reiner, surrounded by his posse of Marco, Bert, and Annie. She simply smirked and gave a lazy wave. 

Reiner took that as an invitation, and lumbered forward to her. With a heavy hand, he dragged the chair out and plopped down. "What were you doing with Historia?" He repeated in person, his voice low and gruff. 

"Fuckin," she replied deadpan. 

The big jock narrowed his eyes already beady eyes and huffed. "You wish." 

Ymir narrowed her eyes to meet his. "Nah, you wish," she hissed leaning closer to him.

"What're you saying?" His face grew red. 

"Just that you're all talk and no action. She's not into you." 

"You little -!" Reiner began to yell. 

"Be quiet or leave," the librarian harshly warning.

One last time Reiner brought his face down level with Ymir's. "Fuck you," he whispered.

She would let him have this one. Although he was fun to anger, which happened easily to the hot headed brute.

Classes passed by mindlessly. Ymir only had one class with Historia, and it was the last period, so she was looking forward to it. Anticipation grew as she headed toward health class, for once she hurried. She was happy to see that Historia was one of the first people there, not yet plagued by her posse.

Confidently, Ymir strode up to her and dropped her bag on the desk that Historia was planted in. "I didn't forget your clothes either," she said and rummaged for the dress. 

"Also," Historia added after being given the article, "can I have your number? I realized after you left that I didn't have it." 

"Yeah." Ymir scribbled down her digits as the majority of the class began to pile in. "Text me later," she grinned and moved to a seat farther from the typical teen commotion. As she sat, she smiled to herself, almost too giddy to care about what Petra was saying today. 'Gonorrhea and chlamydia, sounds terrible,' she grimaced with remorse for whoever that was who's images had been sold to a highschool health course. 'Ouch,' 

School over, Ymir walked on to work where she could find distraction from waiting for her phone to buzz. Another late night at the daycare, this time she marched straight home. 

After dinner and a shower it was already getting late. It wasn't until she pressed a button in her phone that she noticed Historia had texted her. "Hi it's Historia," it read. 

"Hey. What are u doing?" she replied. 

"Sitting at home, bored." 

"How can you be bored with so many friends?" 

"I can be. I don't like to invite them over here, they're rude to Bessie." 

"Bessie's still living with you? I liked her, how is she?" 

"Same as always, doesn't talk much." 

"That does sound lonely..." 

"What are you doing?" 

"I'm laying in bed. Texting you. That's it." 

The replied stopped coming for a few minutes, so Ymir took the chance to add Historia's number in her phone. She wondered if Historia was in bed as well. 

Finally the phone lit again. "Me too. Your shirt was really nice to sleep in." 

A blush covered Ymir's cheeks and then she was the one who couldn't reply. The t-shirt was still in her bag from school. She retrieved it, already able to smell what Historia's room must smell like, the aroma of her bed... Rough cotton fabric of a low quality band shirt, caressing Historia's chest as she slept at least one night while wearing probably the lowest quality fashion she had in years. And it was Ymir's. 

Suddenly her phone buzzed again, "sorry, that was weird." 

"Yeah that's gay," Ymir sent as a joke, but quickly typed more, suddenly worried of how her jokes would come across- she didn't usually text anyone. "I'm kidding. It is my favorite shirt, but you can borrow it again if you want." After she hit send, she also hit herself, thinking that was the least cool reply ever. 

"I might take you up on that," Historia quickly replied with a smiley face, making Ymir smile for real. 

Back in bed, Ymir curled up with the Historia soaked t-shirt, embracing the more delicate but not overly sweet fragrance of a beautiful girl, as they talked each other to sleep.


	4. I Want You But I Don’t need you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “So love me and leave me  
> But try not to need me  
> Enough said  
> I want you but I don't need you” AP

Historia woke up in a great mood, hopping up and getting dressed in some sweats. Cheer practice was always at six thirty in the morning and she liked to fit in a jog on the way to school, so she packed a spare bag with her real clothes for the day.

She arrived as one of the first girls. Coach Jinn was already waiting by the large double doors in the front, and once the whole team had arrived, he unlocked the doors and lead them to the gym. Stretches started them off, then a quick lap around. 

Working out was the best way to start her morning, not even minding having to shower in the locker room afterwards. These girls were basically the same ones who had joined the team in Freshman year, so she had known them all for years, and most of the catiness had resided after the first year together. 

Cheer practice ended a bit more than a half hour before classes would actually start, making it the perfect time to grab some espresso from the drive through near school. Historia decided to join Hanna and Hitch in Minas car. 

Once in the drive thru, they gave their orders and passed cash up to Mina. As they waited, Historia felt a gaze and met Mina’s eyes in the rear view. “What’s up with you lately?” She inquired, and the other two directed their attention at Historia as well. 

“What do you mean?” Historia asked back, defensively. 

“You’re hanging out with that delinquent lately,” Hitch chimed in, Mina simply nodded. 

“I hangout with a lot of people. Do we have a problem?” The icy blue eyes narrowed at Mina, the leader of this subpar investigative team. 

“No,” Hitch interjected, “but the rumors... If she’s pushing herself on you, we wanna know.” Historia clicked her eyes over to the sandy blonde with kinky waves. A popular remark was that her hair was filled with secrets. Never for long, of course. She was the one who had spread that first rumor, misquoting the younger, more shy Historia. 

“I can do whatever I want, and take care of myself while doing so. But thanks,” she snidely replied. 

Silence encased the car. They snaked through to the pickup window, got each of their drinks, and took off back to school. “You don’t have to get so defensive,” Hanna finally added. “We just wanna know-“

“I know you want to know,” Historia cut her off. “Thing is, when you know something, you tell absolutely everyone without skipped a beat. When I know things, I hold onto them... Hanna, you’re still with Marco?” 

Hanna nodded. 

“And he still doesn’t know about those photos you sent to his best friend Jean?” She didn’t even wait for the answer. “And Mina, you’re very lucky to stay on the cheer team with your grades. I mean- Armin’s grades, because he’s much too polite to say anything to you,” she rolled her eyes, before setting them on Hitch, who had most of her anger right now. “Should I go on?” 

Met with no answer, Historia was satisfied. Her family had taught her some valuable lessons at a very young age- always have the upper hand. Let them forget, just long enough to grab them by the balls that they don’t even have figuratively. 

Still silently, they arrived back, and Historia slammed the door of the brand new Porsche that was a birthday gift for Mina. Alone into the school, trouble quickly found her, accompanied by Marco. 

Reiner snuck up behind her, slapping her ass loudly. Every time it startled her, but every time she just rolled her eyes. At that moment her group of frenemies passed through the enterence as well. “Hey Marco,” she made a point to say with extra volume. 

“Where’s my greeting?” Reiner nearly whined. 

“Me letting you do that, that was my greeting,” Historia said with dying patience for the daft blonde. 

The boys both laughed and escorted her to class, although she would have been just as happy had they not. Marco shared that same class, so he stayed once Reiner left for his own. Instantaneously his demeanor shifted. "What do you know about Ymir Fritz?" 

Historia was stuck between groaning in exasperation, and laughing right in his face. "What do you know about Ymir, besides the second hand gossip?" The sweet blonde nearly shouted, almost shattering her veil of poise and perfection. 

Marco's cheek twitched a bit, either in puzzlement or satisfaction. "I know Reiner's planning to kick her ass. 

"That dummy will try to fight a bird that chirps the wrong way at him," mocked Historia, earning a genuine laugh from the freckled brunette. 

"True," agreed Marco. "I also know the kids, at the daycare we both work at, love her. So maybe convince your bonehead not to mess her up," he explained, letting his mask down as well. "I don't hate her." 

She was baffled. There was no reason for Ymir to be so widely disliked and shamed, even Marco showed some humanity toward her. Maybe others could see her good qualities if they were separately able to. The Reiss family was known for their social engagement in charitable cause, and Historia didn't mean to be holier-than-thou, but that was also a quality instilled in their name. 

Class began as the bell rang, though for a change, she couldn't be bothered to partake. Typically she would raise her hand for every answer, but today she was preoccupied, going so far as pulling her phone out and sneaking a text to Ymir. 

As soon as class was finished, Historia bolted for the door, not interested in a certain Braun walking her to the next class. Choir was just down the hall, and if she was lucky, she could get a spot in the back row, unnoticed.

Sneaking to the back, Historia recovered her phone, checking Ymir's reply. She felt dastardly texting during school hours. "Watch our for Reiner today, Marco said he had it out for you," she sent back. 

"What now?" 

"I don't know. He's been really pushy with me lately too," she explained, before pocketing the device as the choir instructor appeared.

Once the lesson settled into its course, she checked the phone again: just one message that read, "might have something to do with me, and him wanting to punch me too."

The class ended before she received another message, so she slowly exited. 

Reiner had found her by lunch time, and clung to her like a koala, nearly tempting to ask if he needed to be fed as well, but he'd probably enjoy that too much. "So babe," he started, with food sloshing around in his big mouth. "You wanna come over tonight?" The intent was clear, and she would really rather pass. 

"Sorry, my dad has a fundraiser and wants me to accompany him," Historia lied innocently. Had he ever listened to the girl, he would have realized her dad was long gone, longer than their 'relationship' had been a thing. "Maybe next time." 

"Oh come on!" He whined, sliding closer to wrap an arm around his girl and nearly knock the tray of food onto her lap. "My parents will be gone..."

Huffing, Historia rose from the seat after another close call from the doofus nearly spilling food on her. "Stop trying to pressure me!" She hissed out, loud enough for the surrounding tables to eavesdrop. "I don't want to sleep with you, especially when you can't even learn to chew with your mouth closed!" Her fuse was short today, she didn't care how she was coming off- how this might tarnish her reputation, or Reiner's. 

Stomping away, she tossed her lunch and waited for classes to resume. She kept to herself the rest of the day, and they all allowed her, possibly hearing of all her seperate blow ups today. Eyes burned through her during the last period, and she would have lost it had it been another friendly intervention, but it wasn't. It was Ymir, who waved once she got her attention. 

Historia smiled, and made her way over after the lesson ended. "Hey, do you work today?" 

"Nope," grinned Ymir, "I'm free as a bird."

"Will you come over?" 

Nodding, they left together and took off to the rich part of town. Historia unlocked the doors and invited her old friend back in. 

"It's changed a lot here..." Ymir lost herself in the massive, sparkling foyer. 

She gave her guest a minute to peek around and take it in, before offering, "We have water, sparkling water, tea..." the list of beverages went on. More easily she could have said 'name a drink,' and that would suffice, for they had everything. 

"Water is fine," Ymir murmured, taken aback. This, compared to her rotting home, was a palace.

After they got situated on the couch, Historia inquired about the message from earlier. "What did you mean when you said it had something to do with Reiner punching you?" 

"Oh..." A deer in the headlights sat across from the blonde. The freckled deer tripping over her words to explain, "Well he was bugging me in the library yesterday, Reiner was, asking if I wanted to fuck you, and so I said to him that he did. Wanted to fuck you, because he hasn't. I didn't tell him that you told me, I was just fucking with him. I didn't mean to start anything between you two. Well, I wouldn't care if something happened but-" 

That explains it- it was last night that he tried to stop by unannounced and scared Ms. Bessie who was already in her evening clothes. Modest, always, she was nearing fifty or sixty maybe.. She was guilty of never really keeping track. "Whatever," Historia smiled, relieving Ymir of her hysteria. "You're all bark, you probably would have said something like that on a normal day too." Rolling her eyes with an endearing charm, she was just happy to feel so relaxed at home for the first time in a while, and wondered if Ymir's presence had anything to do with that.

“Yeah probably,” Ymir smirked. “Your boy toy has nothing to be jealous of...” 

Historia caught the obvious ping of envy with that last sentence. “You don’t think so?” 

“No,” scoffed Ymir, before she met those pretty eyes. “You’re beautiful Historia, you’ve only gotten more beautiful. You were my first crush, and you’re still my dream girl,” she admitted with a new found honesty. Her guard was down, and Historia could feel it, or at least she wanted to. 

“Come with me,” she almost commanded. Quick to obey, Ymir followed her up the grand staircase, down the hall to a closed door. Memories surfaced as the two entered Historia’s bedroom, currently painted a pale yellow, similar to that dress Ymir held onto for her. Most of the decor was new, but it was the same room they had spent many nights in for sleepovers, always staying at Historia’s house, never Ymir’s.

All different, but all exactly as she would expect for Historia’s pristine bedroom. A neat vanity with a large mirror, trinkets and ornaments that were pretty but not tacky. Everything matched.

Historia sat on the bed and patted beside her for Ymir to join. “Every time I’ve gone very far with a guy, I feel disgusting. I never go all the way, because I feel sick, and like my heart will explode. Sometimes I can play it off as being drunk. When I freak out or have to run off to throw up, I ask them not to tell anyone what happened, but they could say we did it. Just don’t say I ran away...” trailing off with hurt in her eyes, Historia let her guard down. “And I don’t think that’s normal. And I think I might be a... lesbian... But I don’t know for sure. And I don’t want anyone to know...” she muttered hiding her face. “You’re strong, and your dad is different... But I’m not, so let me keep hiding.” 

Distraught from the cracking in her voice, Ymir pulled Historia into her arms. She tightly held her for a minute, in silence, but a different kind than what filled the house every desperate night. Heart beats filled the small gaps between them. “You don’t have to do anything,” she soothed. 

Big blue eyes looked up at her, slightly teary, and cheeks red. This was the tenderest and most honest embrace Historia had experienced. For once it wasn’t about the person holding her, wanting something for her. This time it came to her organically, with pure intentions and she could almost feel them through that warm skin pressed against her. “Will you kiss me again?” Historia almost whispered. 

Leaning down, Ymir split the distance between them. With one arm still holding Historia, her other hand cupped the fair cheek, caressing it with her thumb. Her lips softly pressed down on Historia’s. They parted for a second, and met again, melting into each other’s mouths. Their tongues teased and tasted each other, while fingers were getting caught in hair and clothing. Ymir sucked the plump pink lip between her own as they parted, and let it go with a pop! 

Smiling coyly at the brunette, Historia spun around and swung her leg over Ymir’s, placing herself on the her lap. A blush invaded Ymir’s cheeks and she didn’t even try to play it cool. 

Ymir grabbed the back of Historias head and roughly pulled her back in for another kiss. This one was wetter, and clumsier. Their teeth banged, lips got bit, Ymir moaned into Historia’s mouth sinfully. By now both girls were heating up, and Ymir didn’t want to overstay her welcome. 

“Historia...” she nearly purred her name, “is this okay?” 

Answering was pointless after Historia pressed herself down on Ymir’s thigh. She could feel the heat. Still, she wanted to ask permission. “Can I....” her eyes wandered down to the skirt Historia had on. 

Grabbing the Ymir’s long hand, she slid it between them, to the squishy, moist spot between her legs. Ymir teased one finger against the fabric and felt Historia grind down on her more. Nearly growling with arousal, she pulled the thin cotton aside, feeling the wetness drip onto her fingers, forcing them both to shiver. 

Their hungry eyes met silently, before Ymir tested one finger inside of Historia. The warm walls pulsed, and Historia’s breath hitched, but all seemed well so far. Another finger easily filled the small blonde, so Ymir brought her thumb to tease Historia’s soft clit. 

Quickly Historia began to ride Ymir’s fingers on her own. Ymir was unable to take her eyes off of this mess coming undone in front of her: Historia Reiss, with her hair tossed about sloppily, fully giving into her pleasure with another girl... Her lids lowered as she used her free hand to lift Historia’s shirt and bra, exposing her lovely bouncing breasts. Ymir look one nipple into her mouth, lightly nibbling and sucking. 

Moans raced to escape Historia as Ymir didn’t dare slow down. Her quivering thighs were a sign of how close she was, and Ymir couldn’t believe how much she was enjoying herself... 

Historias abs tightened, as did her walls trapping Ymirs fingers. Quickly Ymir kissed her hard, letting Historia cry into her lips as she stroked out the red of her orgasm. 

Once it was finished she held the petite blonde tightly in her arms, letting her breath for a moment. 

“Historia are you okay? Was that okay?” Ymir cooed, worry in her eyes and her voice. 

A warm smile greeted Historias lips, and she glowed up at Ymir. “I would have told you to stop if it wasn’t. I think... that answers my question,” she chirped, eyes dreamily gazing at Ymir. “And I’m so glad it was you...” 

Ymir thought she might explode inside, she felt so full, and satisfied, and also horny. But just enjoying Historia’s body was enough. Way more than enough. “Historia,” she trailed off. 

“Yeah?” 

“I’m happy you let me. You’re incredible.” Holding her between strong, freckles arms, Ymir breathed out, “Incredible...”


	5. Grown Man Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Insight into Ymir

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "And I really want to talk to you  
> I really, really wanted to  
> But i have learned my lesson now  
> And you’re not the one I'm turning to...
> 
> And for a while it was touching  
> For a while it was challenging  
> Before it got habitual  
> And now it really isn't interesting  
> To see a grown man cry," AP

It was late when Ymir got home, but the lights of their apartment were still on, so she braced herself before entering. 

An ugly cry echoed throughout the apartment, and she lightened her footsteps as much as possible, hoping to avoid inevitable instigation. "Ymir, is that you?" Boomed her father's cracking voice. "Come in here," the voice called from his dim bedroom with the door slightly ajar. Alcohol reeked in his disheveled room, an array of dirty clothes tossed over takeout containers. Ymir tried to keep out of her father's space, or even the shared spaces. His lazy messes disgusted and depressed his daughter. 

"Dad?" she called in softly, stepping over a pile of letters, receipts, whatever. 

Reclined on his futon, he waved her over. "I was so worried when ya weren't home," he cried painfully. "I thought somethin’ happened on your way home from school." 

Ymir sat down on the foot of the bed, just out of his reach. "I was at a friend's house," she explained. "Did you eat dinner?" Mostly she was asking to ensure he wasn't drinking on an empty stomach, that was when he got really bad. 

"I got burgers on th’ way home, you want one?" He slurred the question more as an after thought, the burgers were long gone. 

Shaking her head, she replied, "No, that's okay, Dad." The wrappers were strewn around his bed in a drunken warzone, making her lose her appetite. “I’m gonna go do my homework,” she said beginning to leave before her father’s hand launched out and gripped her wrist. 

“You don’t gotta leave.” Sadness strained his voice, which made Ymir only more desperate to leave him. After years of watching him turn into this embodiment of depression, the crying only grew annoying. She hated the fact that she had grown so aloof to her own father, but his daughter just wasn’t enough for him after losing the woman he loved most in the world. At least that’s how Ymir felt, and she still slammed her mother for walking out. 

With a surprising struggle, she was able to pry his fingers from the indent he caused around her arm. “I’m not going anywhere, just to do my homework. I can’t spread out in here,” she explained and trudged out of the room from his draining presence. 

Ymir shut her bedroom door behind her and sighed. It was a harrowing shift from sweet sensations oh Historia’s regions, to the reality of how love can tear someone apart. Not really feeling like doing any homework tonight, she pulled her notebook and began to sketch. 

Bold, intentional strokes in pen created a harsh outline of a figure. Shadows caressed the underside of small breasts, the dip of her stomach, the crevice tucked between milky thighs. Drawing how Historia looked tonight was almost as tantalizing as having her right there. It was all she could focus on in bed: Historia, soft, naked, wet, squeezing her, surrounding her. 

The next morning woke her with a start. Something was being banged around in the kitchen, and if her father was awake, Ymir was sure to be late for school. 

As fast as she could, she changed and ducked out of the apartment unnoticed. Second period was underway when she finally arrived at school, but luckily that was a free period for her. There wasn’t much time left, so she decided to sit in the hallway near her first period class, to apologize and ask for whatever she missed.

Without thinking, Ymir casually opened her notebook to the middle, near the last drawing she was working on. To her dismay it opened right up to the sketch of Historia, before she smacked the book shut again, lucky that no one had seen that. She would for sure be labeled a perv with a drawing like that out at school. 

Quickly enough, the ending bell rang, and students shuffled out, allowing Ymir to get in and catch up with Mr. Ackerman.

“Why did you miss my class?” asked the small stern teacher, as if his class held importance over all her others. 

“I slept in,” Ymir admitted honestly, but the dark eyes narrowed in annoyance. “I had a hot date last night,” she added, halfway hoping to amuse him, halfway wanting to brag to her own ears. 

Scoffing, the man rolled his eyes and gave a lukewarm smile, which Ymir counted as an achievement. “Well,” he started, “Make a better effort. This stuff is a lot easier with someone to explain it and I don’t want you to fall behind.” 

Ymir returned the sardonic smirk, and gave an “Aye aye captain,” before racing to get to the third class on time. 

Turning a corner, a large arm came out to clothes-line Ymir, knocking the wind straight out of her as she landed on her back. Reiner leaned over her with a dark grin. “Hey, didn’t see ya there.” Laughter roared from him and his goon gang. 

Easily enough, they left her on the ground and went along their own business. They still had it out for her, but she figured they would have more than just one punchline, though she wasn’t complaining. If Reiner had any idea what she did with his girlfriend last night she would get a lot more than just a quick hit and run.

The sun had risen hours ago, but the day wouldn’t start until her last class at 2:00, until she got to see the person who’d been dancing through her thoughts all day long. Usually she would see Historia at least for a glance while passing by in the hallway, but it today she hadn’t. So when they had a second together before class started, Ymir hopped over to her seat. 

“Hey!” Ymir cheered and sat down on the desk, practically sitting on Historias lap had there not been that suspended slab of wood. “What are you doing tonight?” 

Averting her eyes, Historia replied, “I’ve got plans with Reiner tonight. Sorry, I can’t keep brushing him off,” she said with either sorrow or embarrassment. Either way something was off. 

Examining her expression closer, Ymir huffed. “Well, I’ll be free all night after work,” she offered, and stood to go find her own seat. “Have fun.” 

Disappointment must have resonated in her tone, because Historias eyes then flickered to meet Ymir’s, and they both softened with some secret understanding they both held. 

School ended, and Ymir shuffled to work like normal. Unlike normal, she was confused to see her classmate Sasha there, building something out of blocks with the kids. Marco appeared soon behind her. 

“Oh yeah, she works here now. Yesterday was Sasha Blouse’s first day. You know her, right?” asked Marco. 

“Not really, but yeah I guess,” Ymir sputtered. Quickly her haven was becoming less private, as another classmate as now working with her. It was weird to have her guard up so much around her peers, and then allow them to see her genuinely happy, being silly and playing with the kids. It was invasive, Ymir needed her shield. 

“I bet Reiner’s gonna lay off of you soon, too,” Marco casually added. 

Ymir rose a brow to his statement. “Why?” 

A smirk came onto Marco’s face, a gleam in his eye. “Word is he’s gonna get lucky tonight,” he jeered. 

Her heart dropped into her stomach as visions of a naked Historia spun through her head. “I doubt it. Who even told you that?” Nearly growling, Ymir tightened her eyes onto Marco’s sly expression and careless manners. 

This was entertainment for the jock who was obviously all in the know. “Does it matter if you don’t believe me?” He watched her scowl, calculating every agitated twitch of her forehead. “You’ve got it bad for her, huh?” 

Eyes darted away, she hardened her expression still. “Does it matter to you?” Ymir shouldered the much bigger guy, but still he was the one to stumble from her force. 

Overall it was nice to have another high school worker, another pair of helping hands to divvy out snacks- when she wasn’t helping herself to them. Sasha wasn’t so bad actually. She didn’t seem to have much opinion on anything besides food and entertainment. Ymir was able to settle into herself by the end of the shift, not having to worry about judging eyes, besides Marco. She didn’t understand his investment her situation, and she didn’t trust him one bit. 

The last child left, and Hange was typing away on some spreadsheets, so Ymir let herself out after she hollered a hollow goodnight. 

The stroll home was calming, more so when she got close enough to see all the lights were out at home. Her dad must have been working, or gone, or whatever. She just needed less noise, to catch up on her homework. Stop thinking. Stop thinking about Historia and Reiner. Historia, Historia, Historia... 

Just then a text came in on her phone, showing her how late it had gotten since burying herself in her work. 

Historia: I made a huge mistake.


	6. Ampersand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ends w a tiddy bang bang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I have wasted years of my life  
> Agonizing up at the fires  
> I started when I thought that to be strong you must be flame retardant  
> And now to dress the wounds calls into question  
> How authentic they are,” AP

Sitting in bed alone, Historia hummed. Silence hit like a brick as soon as Reiner left. 

After school, he drove them both to Historia’s home. She hadn’t anticipated for it to be over so suddenly. Without many words, they climbed the stairs to her bedroom. As soon as the door was closed his mouth as all over her, sloppy and careless. He haphazardly tossed her onto the bed, tearing off her clothes without much consideration.

Stark naked, he used her body roughly. The only thing to keep her from crying was to hold him close to her so she didn’t see him, just Ymir. Imaging it was the brunette, she closed her eyes tight and waited for it to end. And it did, and just as soon, he was pulling up his pants and jogging down the stares with a grin. 

She had let him win.

As a child, chess games against her father had taught her that sometimes the Queen had to be sacrificed. Despite being the most valuable piece, the Queen has to fall.

But maybe she doesn’t have to fall all alone. Historia reaches out for her phone, sending out a test for the person she thought would be most likely to pass. 

Moments seemed to last for an eternity. It had already been hours since Reiner left, and she was still sitting on the bed where he left her. Bessie was scuttling around doing her own things around the house. Historia liked that distance, she assured herself again. 

There was definitely bruising on her fair skin. She was certain that some scratched, and hand prints had been left on Reiner as she grasped his shoulders in pain. 

Finally it had happened though. Historia Reiss was not a tease. 

Regardless of convincing herself that she had come out on top, it hurt. Sore inside and out, and inside in other ways. She didn’t feel victorious, she felt dirty. 

Her phone buzzed her alive, the bright screen asking her, “What’s wrong?” 

Ymir was there for her, but now Historia was scared. Had she made a mistake, a second one, by reaching out for comfort that she didn’t feel she deserved? 

Again her phone lit up. “Historia, are you okay?”

“Not really, but it’s my own problem,” she typed back slowly. 

“Reiner?”

“Yeah.”

“You slept with him?” 

“Yeah...”

“Congratulations.” 

Regretting this conversation, Historia left it at that. She couldn’t think of anything that felt right to say. The only thing she could do was sit in silence justifying herself to only herself in an empty room, before building up the nerve to shower the feeling away before bed. 

Cheer practice the next morning was buzzing with gossip as Historia was the last one to join them- a rarity for her. Side glances followed her during the run. Once it was time to partner up for stretches, Historia marched straight for Mina’s posse and singled her out, as the rest of the girls stared speechlessly. 

“Let’s go,” boomed Historia’s normally melodic voice. 

Mina looked to the girls, perhaps for courage, or to signal that something was about to go down. “Okay.” 

Historia led her to a corner and faced her. “Leg,” she said simply, and put her hands out to catch her ankle and bring it higher. “What’s the hot gossip now?” she growled and raised the other girl’s foot suddenly, causing her to almost fall.

After regaining her footing, she lifted the other leg to stretch and with a glared, quipped back, “you are, you finally gave it up.” 

Tightening her grip around Minas ankle until she winced, Historia asked, “Where did you hear that from?” Again, she jerked Minas foot higher and she yelped, this time falling straight on her ass. 

“I heard it from Marco,” she replied with a hiss and offered her hands out to assist Historia’s stretch now. “But he said Reiner had a lot more to say about it. That it wasn’t worth the wait,” she jeered, and flung Historias foot outward, forcing her to fall backwards hard on the shiny gymnasium floor. 

“Girls!” yelled the coach as everyone was watching their showdown. “Stop messing around!” Coach was oblivious to the storm that all the girls could sense was brewing. 

Mina huffed as she stomped back to her friends and everyone began to practice formations. 

Today no one offered Historia to join them for coffee before class. Instead she stayed behind in the locker room and finished the homework she had neglected last night, speeding right through it.

Studying eyes trailed her through the hallways as she searched for Reiner, but the effort was moot and she raced back to her class to beat the bell. He had to be avoiding her. Multiple classes passed and she wasn’t able to locate him. Usually he was waiting for her to walk her to each class, but something was up today. 

It was in the air. It was in the chatter and the yelling that was echoing from one of the stairwells. Some students had already gathered by the time Historia put forward, recognizing the heated voices. 

Squaring off inside a growing circle of rough teens was Ymir and Reiner, with no consideration that the ruckus would soon bring a teacher. Hopefully. 

“You’ll eat those fucking words!” 

“Make me!” Reiner growled, proudly. “Historia is a tease and a lousy fuck!” He yelled before his eyes landed on his fuming girlfriend. 

Distracted for just a second, Ymir plowed right into him knocking him against the brick wall. Fists flew into his face and ears, before he kicked the much smaller girl off of him. Ymir went flying and crashed into the crowd. 

Someone said something about “Stop!” Another said “Mr. Ackerman is coming!”

She charged right back to Reiner, dodging a punch from him before kicking him in the crotch. He doubled over, giving her a chance to hit him right in the throat. Reiner collapsed and Ymir jumped right on him while Mr. Ackerman still was making his way through the students. Instead of landing a final blow, she lowered her face so close to his that they were touching, almost intimately. She must have whispered something, because Reiner’s battered face tightened before he turned to look at Historia. 

Mr. Ackerman was finally upon them, pulling Ymir off swiftly and effortlessly. It wasn’t until then that she also noticed Historia in the crowd. Eyes grew wide, and then dipped away in shame. All the way down the hall he was scolding Ymir louder than anyone had ever heard him. The teachers swearing brought out Miss Petra, who gasped at the beaten Reiner still laying defeated on the ground. 

Historia stared distantly and silently as the Health and Science teacher assisted Reiner to the nurse. His mouth opened to speak, but nothing came out, and then another teacher was yelling for everyone to get continue on their day.

Still, it was difficult to go on as usual when she was so worried. Ymir had just gotten into a fight last week, which Reiner’s nose was still healing from.

The rest of the day she didn’t see Ymir at all. Even during their class together, Ymir was absent. Under the desk, Historia snuck out her phone and texted her. She sat restlessly through the rest of class, fearing Ymir had been suspended, or expelled, and that it was all her fault. 

No reply yet on her cellphone, she paced the halls, knowing Ymir probably wasn’t there anymore. But someone else was there, and looking for her. 

“Historia,” called out Reiner, who was waiting by the large entrance, looking destroyed. “I’m still waiting for my mom to pick me up,” he laughed like nothing had happened. “She’s probably getting bored of me!” 

“I am too,” deadpan, she admitted. His face shifted from confusion to embarrassment, as his peers stood close. “Sex with you was terrible, and not just because you were sweaty and clumsy.” Marco and Bert sputtered out a chuckle. “Being with you made me never want a guy to touch me again.” Now all do their eyes went wide, and a few others looked their way. After school ended that hallway way usually crowded, and Historia was not being quiet at all. “Well no, being with Ymir made me realize that. You didn’t take my virginity, she did. Sorry,” smiled Historia stoically, with no remorse toward his plummeting reputation.

With a stride in her step, she exited and started her walk toward the center of town. She could feel the eyes in her back as they changed from judgement to adoration, as she had confidently stood up for what she felt. No guises now, just a girl who wouldn’t answer her messages. 

In record time, she made it to Ymirs apartment, but she wasn’t out on the fire escape this time. Finally she called and Ymir answered, only to yell out to “Leave me alone!”

Historia huffed. She was unsure of exactly which window was Ymir’s, so she took a risk, and a handful of pebbles, and threw them at a row on windows she hoped contained her friend. 

A large angry man leaned out the window and swore at her, almost scaring Historia enough to abort mission and head home. Just as she was about to, Ymir leaned out the window and threw a tiny rock back, missing Historia but getting her attention. 

“Hi!” Historia cheered. 

Ymir didn’t reply, just stabbed daggers into Historia with her dark eyes. 

“Can I come in? Please?” She strained on her tired feet, having nearly jogged the whole way there. 

“Why?” Ymir snarled.

Huffing, she didn’t back down. “I broke up with Reiner!” yelled the small blonde. “And I told him you were first.”

The freckled face twisted into one of confusion. 

Historia rolled her eyes in agitation, trying to explain this from three floors down. “I told him we slept together first!” 

All that distance away and Historia would see the gears clicking in Ymir’s head, and her mouth gaped open. Flustered, she looked around, now assessing the best way to get Historia up to her. “Uh.... I’ll come down to you, just wait!” Ymir shouted in a voice that cracked in apprehension. 

Patiently, Historia stood and smiled, until Ymir dropped down the last few feet and scurried over to her. 

“Wait so what happened?” Ymir asked in disbelief. 

“I told Reiner and all of his friends, that it was terrible, and that he ruined men for me, and also that you were the one to take my virginity.” Mouth gaping wide in shock, Ymir stood still, so Historia strode over to her. “I’m sorry. Were you hurt in that fight?” she cooed, looking over her face and body. 

Smirking, Ymir replied in a cocky manner, “No, I got him worse than he got me.” 

“I know,” she replied. “I saw the whole thing. I feel bad that it happened though.” 

“Don’t be,” Ymir beamed. “I still got the girl.” She leaned forward and met Historia with a kiss. Tongues danced while they embraced, before parting and leaving them both with hard breaths. “You wanted to come inside?” 

Simply nodding, she followed Ymir up into the apartment. The two shuffled into the bedroom and closed the door, before sitting together on the bed.

“Can I kiss you more?” Ymir asked sheepishly. 

“As much as you want,” Historia answered and leaned in. Their lips met and they melted into the slow kiss. Mouths made haste of devouring each other, as Ymirs hands began to roam over the delicate frame next beside her. Her fingertips lingered on Historia’s taut breasts and made her gasp into the kiss. 

“Anywhere I want?” questioned Ymir, who was now kissing down her neck, nibbling on her collar bone. She lowered her face and kissed Historia’s breast gently through her shirt. 

“Everywhere,” Historia insisted, a warmth spreading through her body, eyes inviting Ymir in for more. Lifting her shirt, and watched Ymir drink in the sight. Hungry eyes grazed over her, and hungrier fingers trailed behind. She lifted one hand to cup a pale breast, and kiss Historia hard again. 

Before gently pushing her backward, Ymir undid the lady blue bra that fit Historia perfectly. Her small breast jiggled when her back hit the bed, and Ymir took no time to envelope them with kisses, licking and sucking on the sensitive pink nubs. Ymir took one between her lips and teased it with her tongue, enticing a moan from the blonde beneath her. 

Historia's body quivered as Ymir kissed a path lower, and slid her shorts off onto the floor. Sliding her fingers up the insides of shivering thighs, she toyed with the delicate hem of matching blue panties, and whispered her question, "Here too?" 

"Yes, Ymir," answered Historia with a hint of impatience. She reached down and grabbed Ymir's tan hand, pressing it against against the covered dam waiting to burst. 

Ymir gulped, sensing her need. She brought her face to the space between Historia's legs, kissing where she could see the fabric had grown wet. As she began to kiss more greedily at the lace, her hand was sneaking up, her thumb teased inside the underwear and immediately felt the wetness, from Historia or from her own mouth. Her thumb wandered further, feeling the soft skin, and sunk into a warm crevice, the wet filling the palm of her hand already. 

Unable to take much longer herself, Ymir yanked down the tiny garment and fought back something between a sigh and a moan, simply from seeing Historia reclined and naked. She was dripping from her pussy, all of the folds a deep pink, engorged and eager. Soft fingers tangling in her short brown hair signalled to "please keep going," and she did. 

She spread her lower lips, and dipped her tongue in, bringing it up against Historia's clit, and her entire body jolted. Ymir tested the entrance with her fingers and continued to caress every petal of that sweet flower with her tongue. Long, slow strokes made Historia shiver, and twirling her tongue around her clit made Historia's body tighten up. She reveled in the sight of Historia unraveled as she teased the hood with the tip of her tongue. 

It was obvious Historia was close as her moans grew more frequent and Ymir worked her fingers harder inside of her. Finally her inner walls squeezed Ymir's fingers, and she sucked hard on Historia's clit, her voice broke as she cried out. Ymir held her exhausted body, kissing her once she had regained her breath. 

Their eyes met and Historia smiled lazily. "Hey," she whispered. 

"Hey you," Ymir smirked. "Was that okay?" 

"Yeah," Historia blushed and glanced away. "Was I okay?" Her hands came up to cover her chest. 

"You're beautiful, Historia," Ymir stated, completely serious, but still soft. "I love the way you taste." 

Her eyes grew wide with embarrassment and she flushed an even darker shade of red. "Stop that!" 

"Why? You're amazing. I'd like to do more of this with you..." Now Ymir was the one self conscious one, worried that this was just a taste for Historia, just a fun thing to try out. 

Historia embraced her harder, completely nude against Ymir in her jeans and another ratty graphic t-shirt, only now realizing she had soaked the edge of her friend's bed. "Me too, if you'll have me back after I made a mess..." Ymir only laughed warmly, and squeezed Historia tightly in her arms. 


	7. The Ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Everyone's getting real scared to come out because coming out's going down badly  
> Feel the city breaking and everybody's shaking  
> And I just want someone to hold me" AP

Somehow they let the time slip away form them, despite it technically being a school night. The entire night passed in each other's arms, and it wasn't until Historia's alarm went off at five thirty that she realized where she was, and also that she wouldn't make it to cheer practice in time. The noise startled Ymir out of her slumber, and she rolled to face Historia. 

"Do you have to go?" mumbled Ymir in her groggy state. 

"Not yet," she answered and nuzzled back into the covers. "I won't make it to cheer on time, you live farther from school than I do." 

Ymir frowned. "Sorry, I shoulda walked you home last night."

"That's okay," replied Historia. She didn't want to leave anyway, not with those noodle legs. "What happened with your fight? Did you get in trouble?" 

"Oh yeah," she answered with ambivalence, waiting for the right words to make her sound cool, and not worry Historia too much more. "I got in a little trouble... So you're gonna have to tough it without me for a week while I'm suspended."

Her face dropped at the news, now worried of the crowd she'd be walking into alone today. Reiner had certainly told his buddies, who had told their girlfriends, who gossiped to their cliques. And Historia would face that alone, again alone. Until now she hadn't felt any regret in her decision, but now she was scared. 

Sensing her unease, Ymir pulled her squeezed the girl in her arms. "Are you going to be okay today?" 

Nodding, Historia assured her, "Yeah I'll be fine."

Together they laid until the blonde had to drag herself home to get ready by eight. Today she walked to school at an even pace, noticing all her classmates who took the same route but over an hour later than she usually would. All keeping their own paces, Historia kept to herself until she got to the main entrance and braced herself... 

Eyes were on her. Whispered echoed in her head. She caught a glimpse of Reiner but he quickly averted his eyes and rushed the boys who would follow down the hallway. 

Classes carried on building tension in Historia's shoulders. At lunch time she trudged to the cafeteria. For the first time, she was unsure where she would sit. Usually she would join the cheer girls, but with how she has treated Mina and Hitch the other day... Testing the waters, she slowed her pace near them. Nobody perked up or greeted her. They quieted their chatter, shifting the conversation towards Historia. "...she gay now?" "Reiner deserves better," and "How queer..." crept into her ears, difficult for her to shake off. 

Was that a mistake? Was her intricate facade worth keeping? Not often did she hear from her parents, and she was sure gossip couldn't travel so fast toward their high positions of business. Still she feared... 

"Historia!" A voice called out. 

Turning to see the cause, Sasha was waving at her. Despite sharing the same building since elementary, Historia didn't really know her, they had always been in separate circles. 

Regardless, she smiled, not taking a pause in stuffing her face. Beside her was the short kid with a buzz cut, Connie. Those two were famous for being class clowns, always eccentric and expressive they were the perfect theator kids. 

It seemed like this whole table was a mismash of nonconformity. With them sat Armin, the decathlon nerd with a bad bowl cut that his mother had been dressing him in for years. Across from him was Eren, a brunette with eyes like burning ice and a bad temper, and Mikasa, the beautiful athlete with straight As; a few others from different grades who Historia didn't know well enough to name. How had she never noticed them all together before?

Timidly, she closed in on the empty spot beside Sasha who was eagerly munching on some pretzel snack. "Mind if I sit here?" asked Historia politely though it wasn't necessary as they greeted her warmly. 

"Yeah, 'course!" cheered Connie, the only one with a mouth empty enough to answer then. As she sighed from relief, he tuned in, asking "what's with your normal squad? Are they mad you don't want to match dresses for the school dance?" in such a way that she couldn't be offended by his jest.

Waiting for Armin to politely hush everyone, Historia tentatively explained, "there have been some rumors..." watching to see if anyone seemed to already know. Seconds passed without any noticable reactions: Mikasa mindlessly picking at her salad; Sasha inhaling food while she and Connie urged for details they must be oblivious to; Eren and Armin trying not to seem too interested in girl gossip. So she continued, "Those girls have been interrogating me about hanging out with Ymir, and yesterday I broke up with Reiner, so you can guess how that's going..." 

Without looking up from her food, Mikasa chimed in, "Oh I heard," but didn't go any further, so the boys and Sasha looked back to Historia. 

"That's it really! The rest of you didn't hear anything?" 

"No, not me," Eren said, and Armin agreed. 

"Maybe, if I was listening..." added Sasha, intrigued both with the tale and the sandwich she had moved onto. "So what is the story?" 

Historia averted her eyes and blushed. "Just," she started, "don't be surprised if you hear that Ymir and I slept together..." 

Nearly spitting his juice out, Connie gaped, "Woah, did you?!" Images must have been popping into his head, as he and Eren both turned pink as well. 

"So what if they did?" Mikasa groaned. "Half of the class is sleeping together, shouldn't be a big deal." Obviously she wasn't too fixated on the talk, but she held a stoic expression most of the time anyway. Still, Historia appreciated the nonchalance as everyone else continued to gawk at the idea. 

Shaking his head, Eren exclaimed, "It's not a big deal, it's just, you and Ymir, that's different. I didn't know you talked much." 

They hadn't until recently, until everything seamlessly fell apart. Or maybe fell in line. It did feel freeing to be honest, not pretending to care about this party or that football game, the meaningless chatter that carried through the cheer team on a repetitive basis. Today she laughed, with Eren about those trivial matters that they agreed were bogus, and with Connie as he stuck apple slices between his teeth pretending to be a walrus. These things didn't matter either, but it was refreshing to laugh until she hurt. Her 'friends' weren't this funny or interesting.

Continuing the banter out of the cafeteria, her and Armin walked to their next shared class together, and she sat with him instead. For once she wasn't bothered by Mina whispering over that she was so bored and would she want to go shopping later? Refreshing, how she was able to focus. Lesson over, and ten minutes left of this class, her and Armin easily breezed through the homework together. 

To the next class she walked alone, but wasn't so bothered anymore. She had yet to face Reiner, but it seemed like he was being the coward, not her. Only one worry plagued Historia: she hadn't heard back from Ymir. Texted twice already, she decided to wait. Maybe she was sleeping in, not like she had anywhere to be. 

School ended, and on her way out she caught up to Connie and Sasha who meandered clumsily as they joked and jeered. "What a ham! Oh, Historia!" cheered the boy. "Get a load of this! Well, have you seen Reiner at all today?" 

"Just once, he ran away from me," the blonde sighed. 

"Well," smirked Connie, "He was in a shit mood all day, and got into it with Eren! Now he's suspended too!" 

Historia was stunned and confirmed that, "Reiner got suspended, not Eren, right?" 

"Yeah, just Reiner. I saw the whole thing," Connie explained, going into detail about how Eren overheard him with his bros, how the loud mouthed, muscle-head turned it on Eren, insulting Mikasa and him; how Eren made one remark about Historia dumping his ass and suddenly Reiner was on his. "I wouldn't be surprised if he gets kicked off the football team!" 

Sasha looked amused to hear the story again, despite her mouth getting busy with some hot chips. "Doesn't look good to get in three fights within two weeks!" She added, between bites. 

"This is our last year, too. He could lose a scholarship if he doesn't play this year..." Historia muttered in dismay. Maybe he deserved to be kicked off, but she knew how much this meant to him, and his family. Being friends with the sporty group for years, she listened to them boast for hours and hours, daydreaming about college football, or cheerleading in Hitch and Mina's case. She couldn't help but feel sorry, and responsible for this. "Eren wasn't hurt too badly, was he?" 

"Nah, after he got Reiner's nose again, it was over for him!" he cheered, as if describing a fight scene from a movie. "Bert just dragged him to the nurse." 

Closer to Historia's neighborhood, they parted ways, Connie calling out, "We're practicing lines for the Fall play! You should join drama club if you stop doing cheer!" Sasha nodded in agreement and waved goodbye. 

Once she got home, she checked her phone again: there was a message but not from Ymir... 

Marco's number popped up. 

"Hey, have you heard from Ymir? She's not at work and our boss tried calling but nothing." 

"She hasn't texted me back at all..." Historia replied.


	8. The Wolf Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Who's that? Smashing glass?  
> Scratching, thrashing, screaming my name  
> Twitching threatening and shaking the latch  
> Dad is that you, are you back?  
> Who's that? Who's there?" AP

Ring... Ring... Ring... Her phone continued to go off, first it was Hange, now Historia was calling. Ymir just didn't want to answer. Texts were piling up in her inbox, and she replied to Hange, lied that she was sick all day and apologized for not calling in. Finally she replied to Historia, worrying that she might come over to check up. 

"Hey, I overslept," she typed out and sent it, hoping that would satisfy her. 

"Good, I was worried. And Marco texted asking if I'd heard from you, too." Historia sent back immediately. 

"Yeah, I'm on my way to work now." 

But she wasn't. She couldn't go to work like this. Her lip was split, and her entire side was bruised from being slammed on the floor. 

Late last night her father had come home, peeked in to her room to make sure she was home, and saw Historia in bed with her. After her guest snuck out that morning, Ymir's father confronted her. Hungover, or maybe still drunk, the man usually didn't stop drinking and go to bed until early morning. When he woke up to the door shutting, he was in a terrible mood. 

"So you think you can get in trouble at school, and then have friends over? And not even clean the damn place up?" His voice thundered in a rage too sudden for Ymir to process. "Don't just stand there like an idiot!" His hand whipped forward and stung her cheek with a slap.

It wasn't the first time he'd taken out his inner demons on his daughter. Every time was a little bit different though. Ymir never knew if he would coddle and cry or if he would holler and hit her. For some reason she preferred the latter, maybe because after the years she had realized it wasn't her that he cried for, but her who had to hear it. 

"Well?!" His voice crescendoed, rumbling through the small apartment

"I'm sorry, Dad. That guy picked the fight with me," Ymir attempted to explain, but it was moot. 

Another hand landed on her face and resounded, the taste of blood spiked her lip. "You don't fight! What did I teach you?" 

Ymir scoffed. "You taught me to lay there and take it, especially from you." 

With a single hit to the side of her head, she was on the ground, one hand holding her aching, ringing ear. "Didn't teach you to talk back either," he growled, and landed a kick to her ribs, another one and she cried out. 

Pounding on the wall warned that the neighbors were getting annoyed at the noise too early in the morning. 

"Shut up," he thundered and kicked her stomach one last time. "I'm leaving. Don't go anywhere, you're grounded," he warned, as if a grounding was any worse than a beating, and left silently out the front door. 

Still on the floor, Ymir laughed. Belting out nearly hysterically, she laughed loud enough for the neighbors to start pounding again. Not like they would call a noise complaint to this neighborhood, it would get all the shady characters, including themselves in bigger trouble. "Fuck off!" she shrieked between her fits. 

Her body burned from the plummeting adrenaline and also the injuries that made it a challenge for her to stand, but it could have been worse. It could always be worse. 

That was hours ago, before she finally got around to her phone. Guilty of avoidance, she just couldn't deal with Historia's beckoning. Feeling soft made her pain that much worse, and she didn't want to dwell on it from someone worrying about her. 

By now her father had been gone a while, and would probably be gone until late into the night if he was to return tonight at all. 

In bad need of some fresh air, Ymir decided to risk going out. She kept the front door locked and a few lights on, as she climbed out the window onto the fire escape. Bending certain ways to fit through that frame made her ribs ache, a sharp sensation forcing a shudder from her. Slowly she climbed down the rusty rings, and jumped the last few feet onto concrete. The impact made her grimace in pain but she bared her teeth, and straightened. 

She had no real plans of where to go, and it wasn't until then that she realized she didn't grab her phone on the way out. 

The lazy breeze felt nice, if it was a bit humid from the late summer heat that seemed it would never reside. Once she got moving it was easy to forget about her battered body. Her feet carried her away from the city center, lights from houses glowed on her back creating a halo effect that would shadow her messed up face from anyone she might know. 

Everyone except one: someone who knew that walk anywhere. From walking her home after concerts that they didn't intend to meet up at, from being the only one for so long who was indifferent enough to pick her up after a fight. She could hide her face but not her broken gait. 

"Hey you," the voice greeted from behind her. It was smooth enough that she knew the tone wasn't her father's gruff call, but she was too far in her own world to identify anybody else. 

At first she didn't bother to turn around, but she did slow her pace. 

"Ymir, it's Eren," he beckoned as he closed in on her. "Who messed you up this time?" 

She turned and looked at him with a lazy eye from being smacked on that side a few too many times today. "Who messed you up?" She poked right back at him as a joke. 

"Reiner, but I got him worse!" Eren beamed. 

"Seriously? You got in a fight with Reiner?" 

"Yeah, he was being a prick, I didn't like the way he was talking," Eren said with intensity in his eyes. Ymir knew he would do the same for Armin or Mikasa, the ones he was inseparable from. But Ymir wouldn't necessarily consider him a friend, and she always figured he felt the same way. Unless it was just her loneliness talking, for you can't be rejected from someone if you don't let them in. And she never let anyone in... 

"Why did you do it?" She asked.

Like I said, didn't like the way he was talking..." the boy replied sternly enough to almost confirm her thought until he continued. "He was saying some shit about you, and about Historia... I was happy to knock the smug look off his face. Now tell me," he pushed, staring so hard into Ymir it hurt, she felt a cornered dog. "Who gave you that split lip? Reiner?" 

"No..." she started, but immediately regretted denying it was Reiner. Eren was going to make this difficult for her, whether or not he was aware of it. "It happened at home."

Eyes that were a deep mossy blue widened, and then narrowed in an unsettling understanding. "Oh." Somehow that subtle reaction hurt her more, as if maybe he was more familiar with this kind of pain than he ever let on. Maybe he understood her more than she ever intended, than either of them anticipated. "Did you ever meet my dad?" asked Eren seemingly out of the blue. 

"No...?" 

Sighing, he took a second. His gaze settled on a couple who walked hand in hand with their child down the sidewalk. Again he harbored a curious severity in his expression. "I was glad my mom was able to leave him." 

The words stung Ymir's heart. Both for Eren's past and her own present. She knew where this was going, but her situation was different. Her mom left, but also left her in the process. If she had gone with, maybe that calm look of resolution would have softened her eyes, but she hadn't, and it didn't. 

Still, he went on, "He was a doctor before the news broke and he left town, so everyone knew him. 'Grisha wouldn't do that,' they all said. 'Eren has a big imagination, he could get lost anywhere!'" Ridicule tickled Eren's tongue as he spat out his story. "My dad would lock me in the basement, when I was being bad, or when he wanted to be alone with my mom... He never hit me..." Emphasis on 'me' lead Ymir to believe the doctor must have laid a hand on his mother. 

"Jeez, I'm so -" 

"Nah, stop that," he interrupted and waved a hand between them. "I'm just saying, do you need a place to say tonight?" 

The offer hung in the wind. Touched, Ymir wanted to accept. Another night out, however, would probably have her head. Not literally, but maybe a few broken bones. Averting the softness in her eyes, she jeered, "You're too smooth, Eren!" and smacked his back. His face faltered before he smiled back in understanding. "But he doesn't like me staying out. Thanks though," she finally revealed something warmer than a smirk. 

"Yeah, I got you," he returned. "We can't have anyone making that mug any uglier or I wouldn't wanna be seen with you! You'd chase off all the girls when we go see shows!" He pulled Ymir against his side for a quick squeeze, and released her, acknowledging her preference for distance. 

Playfully slapping his shoulder, she chuckled. "As if yours doesn't scare em off first!"

"Well I gotta go, meeting up with Armin after his tutoring ends. You've got my number, right?" Eren asked, face meddled with concern again. 

"Yeah, yeah," she assured. "I've gotta get home too. But I'll take you up on that if I have to," she said casually, but they both understood the gravity of the situation. Best case, she gets home soon and doesn't upset him again. She appreciated his easy comprehension, the compassion. The fact that she was wrong, and she wasn't alone. 

As expected her father didn't return until late, rattling the lock as he clumsily shoved his keys into the latch. She was mostly asleep until light flooded in as he creaked her bedroom door open, and lumbered over to sit on the side of her bed. Squeezing her eyes shut, Ymir feigned sleep as he rested a rough hand on her leg. 

"I'm so sorry, my girl," he muttered, his breath warm from the whiskey. It was typical for him to come in and check on her while she slept, more often pretending. Maybe it was the guilt, or that he was drunk again, but he continued to talk at her presumably unconscious form. "You know I never mean to hurt you... But the thought of you leaving too, kills me inside. When your mom left, I think all the best parts of me left with her, and if you leave, you'll take all the rest." 

Ymir shuddered at the thought, of taking all of his worst qualities and unloading them onto Historia- hopefully Historia. She resented her father's abuse, silently swearing to never unload the same wrath onto the woman she loved. 

Baring his weight onto the edge of her bed before he Rose to leave her, he murmered one last promise, "but you won't leave me. You'll graduate soon, I'll have to figure something out by then..."

The door creaked shut, leaving his vow to echo with her in the dark.

She was running out of time.


End file.
